Mixed Feelings in An Aging Mother

I realized I haven't poured out my thoughts in a few days. I am having mixed feelings this morning over two issues. One, my body is not functioning like it used to and I am disappointed in this fact. I turn 39 in a couple of weeks and my mind still feels SO young, but today, I went to exercise and my back feels like that of a hunched 100 year old. You know, my mom used to talk about this when I was in my teen years and early 20's and I used to think, "is THIS all they have to talk about-aching bodies, sick friends, body functions not functioning?" For some reason, I now feel justified to talk about the same and talk about it with everyone, mind you.


Second, I am a little sad today because I sent my youngest boy (age 3) off to school for morning classes. In our language-rich home environment he has not flourished and needs help with speech and development related to that area. This creates in me some mixed feelings: he is SO young and I don't feel like he should need to start "learning" quite yet, but I also want him to be at the same levels of development as others his age, and apparently, he is not getting the necessary tools at home. Maybe my sadness is just a realization that there are no others to cling to my leg, cry for more juice, or screech for a snack every 10 minutes. I need to develop other interests. Maybe this is a good time to set aside for my "job" of blogging. I could also get back in the routine of exercise. I could read, get organized, cook food, bake, clean house, email friends, make phone calls-the list is endless!!! Sometimes the joy in what could be a sad occasion, comes from thinking about all the possibilities of what could be. Maybe I'll finally get my floors clean. Maybe tomorrow.