Children and Sports

I love watching my young boys play sports. That is not to say that I love ALL sports, but that I do enjoy sitting in the stands and cheering them on while they move their little bodies around the field, court, or mat. I have figured out why these events can be so enjoyable and wanted to share my epiphanies with you. Those of you who enjoy these events will probably agree with the findings.

First, there is nothing like watching a group of young ones attempt to hit a ball with a bat, or catch a ball with a large, wide, stiff leather extension on their hand. Why do we wonder why some children prefer to wear the glove on their heads? Frankly, it just feels better up there, fits better up there, and allows their hands to better grab at the bugs in the grass, pick their noses, or itch parts of their bodies that can remain nameless. Second, the child up to bat always wants to smack the ball out of the park, so for them, that means they keep their eye somewhere in the far vicinity of the park, and not on the ball ("Visualize WHERE you want the ball to go, not where it actually IS"). By the 10th attempt at young persons slow pitch, the tee is dragged from the sideline and placed in front of the humiliated child only to be swung at another few times before a connection is made. Lastly, I enjoy watching the flying ball as it either rolls between 3 players' legs before being stopped, or is hit and drops between the 3 players that are standing in a huddle attempting to catch it.

In basketball, I am currently watching my 4th grade son and his team improve and win a few tournament games. One of my favorite plays is the one where the child attempts to shoot the ball into the basket from one side of the basket only to have it totally go in an arc over to a player way on the other corner of the basket. We parents in the stands refer to this play as a "good pass." I also love watching them try to dribble the ball and walk/run, all the while maneuvering the next play and talking to their teammates. Talk about multitasking! How come this doesn't seem to work at home? There seem to be games where I find that my son is mostly on the floor sliding around, then actually running from one end of the court to the other. Maybe his feet are growing.

Lastly, there's football. The tough skills to be mastered in this game fseem to be throwing the ball, catching the ball, and the always elusive good kick. Is there much else to this sport? My kids swear that the umpires must grease and shine those balls prior to every game. It's always great fun watching them run after the ball as it bounces and rolls across the ground, first one way, then the next. Funny how they all move as a group. Because my boys are in flag football, I also like it when one child has the ball, is running, and kids are diving left and right attempting to grab at the flags. They fall like flies at the feet of the child with the ball until the child triumphantly runs into the end zone and performs a touchdown dance while all his teammates gather around. Ah, the reward for a perfectly executed play.

These are the good times. GOOD TIMES! As they get older and better, it will no longer be as humorous, just exciting or disappointing. For now, it's great entertainment. Play Ball!!!

Do Our Children Rule Our Lives?

It was presented to us this Sunday that people in our society idolize children. Back in the day (I figure this to be before 1960), children were meant to be seen and not heard. My father has reminded us that on a number of occasions. He has talked about how adults got together and children were then expected to find something to do on their own-quietly. They sat at a different table to eat. Parents were not expected to listen or entertain them. There were unspoken rules on behavior and you just "did" without having to be told-or else. I am not saying that this should be the way it is today, but I cannot help but wonder if we have not indeed swung in the complete opposite direction.

Let's take a case in point. My husband, Stallion. When not working the night shift, he is either 1. sleeping or 2. interacting with our children. He is a wonderful dad, but I almost see him as my children's playmate and entertainer. I will even go so far as to say that my boys' friends have asked if my husband can "come out to play." When my boys have friends sleepover, my husband is frequently asked to entertain them. He will chase them around the yard, throw the ball (whatever sport ball is in season), take them somewhere, or play video games with them. I am never asked. Perhaps it is because I am a girl, or more likely, because they know I won't. I am the one they come to for drinks, snacks, meals, and treats. If they have an injury, it's me. My husband is invited into the elite children's circle. a place I don't belong.

This has, at times, caused some issues in our relationship. I am, how shall I say it, high maintenance. I enjoy nice clothes, good food, good company, and adult time. As much as I love my children and care for their needs, I do not feel my whole being revolves around how I can provide nurturing stimulation for them. Maybe it is because of this detachment, I have noticed that today's youth (including my own) lack the boundaries that children once had. They refer to adults by their first names (Hey Jenny!) or they have no qualms about interrupting us while we are on the phone or even talking to another adult in person (hey mom?, excuse me, excuse me, mom?, mom?). They don't open doors for others, they burp at the table, or fart. They don't address others when they are spoken to, they don't know how to write a thank you note on paper, and basically, lack the social etiquette necessary to be considered appropriate. I often ponder how to allow my children to have fun, be boys, and at the same time, raise them so they become productive members of society capable of providing another human being with a fulfilling relationship. I am raising future men, after all. They will be someones boyfriend, husband, father, co-worker and I want them to experience joy in their lives.

That leads me to a possible solution. We need to introduce beginning socialization classes, or etiquette classes, into our children's lives. Not just telling them what to do, like in the past, but explaining to them WHY we do those things. Respect shown for others around us is respect shown for ourselves. Part of that is teaching them how to behave on their own, entertain themselves, and not rely on others to constantly provide for their nonessential needs. As I write this, Stallion is packing up all the supplies necessary for my boys to attend a weekend of basketball, hotel reverie, and skiing. Whoopee! I actually am looking very forward to this weekend, but I can hear my boys now if they read this- "Aw mom, you're no fun."

Overcoming My Obsessiveness With Germs

I never really liked dirt, even as a little girl. My
mother would say that I wore dresses and tights
and didn't really like to play in or touch the dirt. I was what you would call a girly-girl. As I got older, I did remain clean, just not very neat. As a teen, I grew up in a Victorian home full of beautiful things, but you couldn't see anything under the heap of clothes, shoes, stuffed animals, and bedding in my room. When I ventured out on my own as an adult, I became a clean and neat freak. My mom told me that she was worried when I was a teen that I would never outgrow that messy phase. She's proud at how I turned it around. To this day, I remain a little bit of a clean/neat freak. With all my boys, it's hard to entertain my obsessive tendencies towards having everything being tour-ready in my home. I also am unable to control the level at which my children subject themselves to our world and all its germs, bacteria, and viruses. Stallion will often jest with me that I can't keep my boys in a bubble, so I need to let it go. I have, but can still get shocked, like when my kids put candy that was on the floor in their mouths. Or the time one of them took a piece of ABC gum from who-knows-where and stuck it in their pie-hole. At these times, I feel like having them swish with bleach but as a nurse, am aware of the problems that this would cause. I will then settle for a good mouth brushing, then observing them for symptoms of what just HAD to be carried on that yummy find.



On our recent trip to Gatlinburg, Noah (that's him above), tested my germphobia. We were walking down the main street when I all of a sudden heard my husband cry out, "No Noah Don't!" From then on, everything was in slow motion. I turned and said "WHAAAAAT HAAAAPPEEENED?" Stallion said,"You dooooon't waaaaan't to knoooooow." I then turned to Noah and my mouth dropped. In his mouth was a whole new set of those goofy plastic teeth that kids wear on Halloween. He was happy as a lark. I was grossed out and thinking how long it would be before I could safely kiss him again. I also thought that he would need careful observation to make sure his face or body didn't respond to some crazy microbe. Well, he lived and didn't even get sick. Thank goodness for small favors. The lesson is: kids and germs go together and sometimes we just need to let it go a little. I kissed him that same day.

Mixed Feelings in An Aging Mother

I realized I haven't poured out my thoughts in a few days. I am having mixed feelings this morning over two issues. One, my body is not functioning like it used to and I am disappointed in this fact. I turn 39 in a couple of weeks and my mind still feels SO young, but today, I went to exercise and my back feels like that of a hunched 100 year old. You know, my mom used to talk about this when I was in my teen years and early 20's and I used to think, "is THIS all they have to talk about-aching bodies, sick friends, body functions not functioning?" For some reason, I now feel justified to talk about the same and talk about it with everyone, mind you.


Second, I am a little sad today because I sent my youngest boy (age 3) off to school for morning classes. In our language-rich home environment he has not flourished and needs help with speech and development related to that area. This creates in me some mixed feelings: he is SO young and I don't feel like he should need to start "learning" quite yet, but I also want him to be at the same levels of development as others his age, and apparently, he is not getting the necessary tools at home. Maybe my sadness is just a realization that there are no others to cling to my leg, cry for more juice, or screech for a snack every 10 minutes. I need to develop other interests. Maybe this is a good time to set aside for my "job" of blogging. I could also get back in the routine of exercise. I could read, get organized, cook food, bake, clean house, email friends, make phone calls-the list is endless!!! Sometimes the joy in what could be a sad occasion, comes from thinking about all the possibilities of what could be. Maybe I'll finally get my floors clean. Maybe tomorrow.

Church Etiquette and My Children

Since it is Sunday, I thought I would write a little about my children's church etiquette. Over the years, this has varied like the personalities of each one of my 5 boys. I've had the sleeper, the color book kid, the kid who loved the daycare/school program, and now, the kid who just won't go to church. Well, that's not entirely true. This last child has now been attending the service for about 2 months, due to being armed with a bag of crackers, bottle of water, and an army of guys. But prior, I don't think I went to church for about 8 months because frankly, it was just too distracting. Not only did I feel a little sorry for anybody who was unfortunate enough to be sitting within the same 30 seat radius, but I felt sorry for myself. It would start about 2 blocks away from the church when he would notice the roof of the building. The crying and screaming "NO!" would commence. He would cling to his booster chair as I would be pulling on his legs and trying to be cordial and greet others as they walked by, smiling all the while. My husband or I would then hoist him over our shoulder and carry him in. Amongst crying, grabbing, latching on, and screaming at the daycare workers, we would try to soothe him and encourage happy participation in his age-appropriate program. He didn't buy it. The other boys caught on soon enough and all were asking if they could skip out of their classes. I decided home church would be in order till they graduated from high school. Well, we have once again ventured out to worship in public. I hope everyone can take pity on us and be understanding when my child wails out during a meaningful prayer or passes gas during the sermon. After all, at least we got him in there.

Finding the Joy: It always feels good to get an understanding look from someone who's been there.