More on New York City and Children

I feel that my children live a pampered life compared to many others in the world. While we don't have too much money, we do have heat, food, electricity, clothes, clean water, and all the other necessities. We also have many non-essentials such as a Wii, 3 televisions, a Nintendo DS, every Hot Wheel ever made, every action figure known to the younger generation, and all forms of building blocks. You get the idea.

We arrive in New York late at night because our plane was delayed. We are all tired by the time we reach our hotel. Uh-hem, Hostel. We check in and find out we are on the 4th floor and we have to all pile into a tiny elevator that moves at the speed of a snail. We step off the elevator onto a floor that I can only say looked like somebody threw up raspberry sherbet all over the walls. I tell the kids we will be fine and this will be an adventure, then we head to our room. Once the door is open, all of us start looking for the light switch. About 3 minutes later, I notice something hanging from the ceiling. It is a piece of string to which I then pull and the only light in the room comes on. Maybe we should have just kept the light off. My middle child, being the pampered middle that he is, exclaims "what is THAT about? This room doesn't even have a switch?" I then explain to him that this is still a common observance in some parts of the world and we will survive pulling the string. Well, the hostel didn't have bugs, or rats, but there was a bird in the room next door and we weren't sure if it was the occupants' or one that had taken residence from the outside. We shared an interesting experience sleeping in this different form of a hotel and we know we will laugh about those raspberry walls for years to come.

Wanted: Interior Decorator for the Candy Hotel/Hostel in NYC

P.S. I would have taken a picture but have to admit, I didn't want others to see where we had been willing to stay to save a few bucks.

Mixed Feelings in An Aging Mother

I realized I haven't poured out my thoughts in a few days. I am having mixed feelings this morning over two issues. One, my body is not functioning like it used to and I am disappointed in this fact. I turn 39 in a couple of weeks and my mind still feels SO young, but today, I went to exercise and my back feels like that of a hunched 100 year old. You know, my mom used to talk about this when I was in my teen years and early 20's and I used to think, "is THIS all they have to talk about-aching bodies, sick friends, body functions not functioning?" For some reason, I now feel justified to talk about the same and talk about it with everyone, mind you.


Second, I am a little sad today because I sent my youngest boy (age 3) off to school for morning classes. In our language-rich home environment he has not flourished and needs help with speech and development related to that area. This creates in me some mixed feelings: he is SO young and I don't feel like he should need to start "learning" quite yet, but I also want him to be at the same levels of development as others his age, and apparently, he is not getting the necessary tools at home. Maybe my sadness is just a realization that there are no others to cling to my leg, cry for more juice, or screech for a snack every 10 minutes. I need to develop other interests. Maybe this is a good time to set aside for my "job" of blogging. I could also get back in the routine of exercise. I could read, get organized, cook food, bake, clean house, email friends, make phone calls-the list is endless!!! Sometimes the joy in what could be a sad occasion, comes from thinking about all the possibilities of what could be. Maybe I'll finally get my floors clean. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm Having A Moment

Excuse me, but aren't we Moms allowed to have a 'moment'? Let me explain, recently my 15 year old daughter completed and passed her driver's education class. She is counting the days (35) until she can apply for her temps. She also informed us that a young man at school would like to take her out. Can't I get over one moment before she springs another on me? I mean, I am to young for this to be happening, right? My first born learning to drive... now wanting to date. How can this happen so fast?

I would grin and bear it when older moms would say 'enjoy this time, they grow up so fast' (as I've got 2 kids holding my legs and one squalling in my arms while the 4th one is playing in the street). It sure didn't feel like they were growing up fast! Then, all of a sudden you turn around and it's happened, they've grown up. I'm not one to get too sentimental, but really, driving.. dating, how can this be?

So there you have it, my moments. Enjoy them while you've got them.

Let the Basement Remodel Begin!

First, I must apologize for the blurry pictures, but you get the point. Our basement is in the middle of demolition. This room started out as a dank dark blue paneled room with outdoor carpeting and tiny windows. The goal: to turn it into a place my man can enjoy and the children can play and have large slumber parties. This is a lofty goal on a limited budget, but we are always up for a challenge. Since these pictures were taken, my husband has proceeded to take a concrete saw and enlarge the 3 tiny windows to fit nice-sized sliders so that the children and guests might actually have a chance to escape in case of fire. He has also, in his eagerness, carved out a 4th window (guess he really liked using that saw) that will even out the numbers on each wall. I love to watch rooms transform into usable updated spaces, and especially like to see it done on a budget. It provides inspiration to those of us who are unable to afford professional decorators. Look forward to updates on how this is coming along. I know I can't wait to see the finished product.

Comments!

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Submission in a Marriage?-What Does THAT mean?

Submission. Even saying the word in my head does not bode well. It feels almost "icky" and makes me scrunch my face. Why is that? The dictionary definition refers to submission as giving up, or surrendering. It is the condition of being humble or obedient. As I am a visual learner, all I can conjure up are my dogs trying to let each other know who's boss by mounting or nipping and growling. This doesn't spark warm fuzzies, or thoughts of sugarplums and candy canes. According to the Bible, wives are to submit to their husbands. I had to wonder, was God kidding?

At the beginning of my marriage, as in most peoples marriages that I have spoken to, there seems to be a period of turmoil before there is a settling down. I remember a particularly tumultuous time where I believe my Hoover was kicked down the stairs at my angry, but unsuspecting husband much to his dismay and my own, at the knee-jerk reflex I was capable of. Mind you, I was pregnant at the time and incapable of much self-control when really upset. Soon after, I realized something would have to change if we were to succeed in this marriage and although I really wanted to think that it would have to be my husband, I was smart enough to realize that it had to start with me. He also wasn't being very receptive to my constructive suggestions about the flaws he should work on.

While watching TV one afternoon, a segment came on that was featuring a female writer that had written a book on surrendering in your marriage. I am sure the title is similar to that, but I am unsure as I write this. I knew I had to read it and ordered it soon after. It began the change in me. Often, I challenge my "stallion," especially because he likes to run free and wild with his mouth and often say things like "I command you" when he is jesting with me. He knows it gets my fur up and claws out and I will often respond with something G-rated (of course) like "no one COMMANDS me." I am wrong, though. We are commanded every day in life. I took an oath when I said my vows that binds me to, among other things, consider my husband above others and to listen, assist, and stay with him through the good, bad, and dirty-diapery. I need to accept his leadership and believe in him, while being free to offer to him my opinions and feelings on a matter. Through the years, I have come to depend on him. He does not fail me, and ultimately, I am entrusted to him for him to care for for the rest of our lives. If I believe in him, trust him, and understand the part I play in our marriage to make it a wonderful and joyous part of life, I must submit. This is not to say that I roll over and allow him to bite and nip me (notice what I left out), but that I understand the dynamics of our relationship and have a responsibility to do my part to make it work.

Others have mastered submission in marriage more so than myself. For me, it is a struggle to balance my strength and my pride with my ability to submit. The joy, I have to remind myself, is in the journey that life brings us on. Growth doesn't happen overnight, and for me, can sometimes take decades. More on this later. Woof woof!

Only in the Midwest

I love the way the people in the Midwest set their own rules. We run wild and free, most of us owning a house and land, or even just a plot of land. We take pride in our land and will defend it against those who would criticize the way we use it. Even when we are in an "urban" setting (a town considered incorporated), we choose to use our property in unique ways. I have seen full gardens, nick knacks all over, shadow people and animals lingering by many a fence, fake animals tromping through a front yard or sipping from a man made pond. Today, I saw a popular sport being played out in the front of our neighbors' yard within the city limits that could only be tolerated in the Midwest.

After playing at the local playground with all our children, we drove by our neighborhood church, then to our surprise, witnessed the corner home occupants hanging their latest deer kill from a tree. I cringed slightly, not because I am opposed to deer hunting, but because they then proceeded to gut the deer and remove the vital parts and spill them on the front lawn. "Kids, look at that. You should go down there and watch after we park the car," says my husband. Yeah, right. I wanted to take a picture to prove that it actually was happening in our quiet neighborhood, but thought that tacky and probably not appropriate for some of our readers. Where else could my children get such an accurate animal anatomy lesson from the comfort of our own vehicle? Only in the Midwest. Can you imagine what would happen if you lived in a high rise condo and suddenly saw a bloody carcass smack your window from the condo above? Heavens would that create a fuss. Bless Wisconsin and the freedoms we enjoy.

How I Met My Man-"Stallion"

At this time of Thanksgiving, I wanted to give special thanks for my great man-"stallion." We have been together almost 15 years now and it only gets better each year. Actually, it only gets more comfortable, like a great chenille chair with down cushions. He is my best friend and the one who if I HAD to pick one person that I was forced to spend all my time with-it would be him. We, of course, wouldn't always get along and I would do most of the talking, but he would be the person, nonetheless.



I love for people to share how they met their beloved, so for those of you who don't already know or want to hear it again, I will share how my husband and I came to get together. Our first date was on my birthday, which is coming up in a couple of weeks (I'll be 25 again!). I had just moved to Oshkosh after finishing nursing school and was looking for a house or condo to purchase. I ended up in my mans condo with the realtor when the realtor stated, "You would be a good match for the young man who lives here." My man was not in the condo at the time and when I left the viewing, he was down the block walking his dog and I could only see his back. I did not buy the condo and thought nothing else of it. I was a psychiatric nurse and wanted to work at the state mental hospital in Winnebago. I applied, was accepted, and wound up on the same unit as my man (there were 13 units at the hospital at that time, and no, he was not a patient). We worked together, and as he would exclaim to anyone who will listen, I eventually asked him out. The rest is full of the usual highs and lows with the end result being a long marriage and many boys. Life is good.



I love the story of how we found each other and it instills in me the belief that we are truly matched and were meant to be together. Of course, I need to remind myself of this everytime he decides to be a little lippy with me. So, I would like to start out the season of Thanksgiving by being thankful for my spouse. The joy I find in the comfort of having him is indescribable and such a blessing. I would love to hear other stories of how people met. Write and let me know!

The Christmas Season Has Begun

It's official! The Christmas season has begun. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that come November 1st, Christmas has begun at the Van Gysel house. My decorations are brought out and the transformation begins. The CD's are all switched to Christmas tunes and the seasonal movies are moved to the front of the cabinet. I also begin to read all the Christmas books we have in the boys' shelves to them at night before bed. What about Thanksgiving you ask? Well, I still believe in giving thanks and celebrating with the usual feast, but as for decorating, it's all about Christmas.

My children have learned that this is also the time when all the Christmas toy catalogs come out. The lists begin to pour from their little minds and hands as they claim every toy to be what they really want for the holiday. I find myself discouraging the toys that will require batteries of any kind and number or toys that will compete with the noise level in our active home. I also have to bring them down from the clouds and remind them that while the holiday will bring some gifts, the actual meaning is in the celebration of the birth of Christ. That can be difficult in today's world, where many would like to take out the religious aspect all together. I also have to reinforce the need to help others and give to others, especially those who will not be receiving a gift. Recently, we were discussing the reality of Santa and my children, ages 10, 8, and 5 were discussing the idea that since Santa is supposed to deliver a present to everyone on Christmas Eve, we didn't HAVE to get a gift for anyone else-he would take care of it. You can see now why I have to start early. It takes a couple of months just to get the true spirit of the season into their hearts.

So, the season for us has begun. I would love to hear from anyone who also feels the same and tell me what you do this time of year to feel the joy. Merry Christmas!

New York Review-Fun in The Big Apple!

Our trip to New York City was a great success. I highly recommend a visit for all of you who truly love a city vacation. There were so many exciting things to see and interesting people to meet and observe. Some of our favorite adventures follow. Enjoy.






Ah, Central Park in fall. I have to admit we were all very impressed with the beauty of it. An oasis amidst all the business of the city. We thoroughly enjoyed our walk through it. Funny- mentioning the walking, I do have to share that for the 4 days we were there, we spent most of the time walking. My sister-in-law wore her pedometer and we clocked 50miles around the city-JUST walking. The boys were actually great sports about it after a new pair of shoes for one and Red Bull for both. Walking is really the only way to get the most out of seeing the city.

The subway certainly provides a different form of transportation and entertainment. As it was Halloween weekend, we did expect to find people dressed up in costume. As we were obtaining our Metro cards for an early morning subway ride, I was poked in my back 3 times only to turn and see that next to me, was a young man 3/4 naked, dressed in a Chippendale tie, cuffs, and bikini. He got on our subway and ended up standing right next to us. I couldn't avoid commenting to him how daring that costume was and ask him where he put the money for the subway. He proceeded to share how he got stranded at a friends with no other clothes and now needed to get a pair of sweats purchased-FAST. I agreed. My boys just gawked at first, then acted as if they see it all the time on the streets of Waupaca, WI.

Of course, we visited all the usual sights. I found myself answering many questions as to why the sights didn't look quite the same as the movies they were featured in. The most disappointing being the Central Park Zoo. My children, who have watched Madagascar too many times to mention, were wondering where Marty, Gloria, Alex, and Marvin were. The zoo didn't even have any of these animals, but my children noticed that the clock in the movie was actually there. Thank you for small favors.

Lastly, we enjoyed the local wildlife. J and J (the boys) terrorized the pigeons, squeeled when a rat ran across the sidewalk in front of us one night, and admired all the New York "city" dogs. The reward of travel comes when my children realize how fortunate they are and empathize with those who don't have what most of us do. This trip taught them much, made them laugh, forced exercise (lots of it), and provided an experience I hope they never forget. You may hear more later as I share an embarrassing event that happened to me. Being able to laugh at ourselves is a true gift. WE LOVED NYC but it's good to be home.

Finding the Joy: Spending time together, especially while traveling, is a true blessing. We are thankful for the safe travel.