The Solution to a Good Marriage

I have been married to Stallion for almost 11 years. We have known each other for almost 14 years. In a lifetime, I realize this is just a short amount of time, but in married years, it's an accomplishment. In the U.S., we have a tendency to just throw out those things that have a little wear or tear, are faded, or just plain don't fit us anymore. This seems to apply to people, too. Relationships that don't suit our needs, seem like too much work, or are "old" don't always work in our society. We are the society where new and shiny is better. I watch all the younger couples in school dropping their kids off and marvel at their ability to look good, drive nice vehicles, and seem to have it all together. I could get downright green with envy if I didn't know a special secret: that time is what really makes a life and relationship great.

I laugh when I think about my premarital courtship. We met at a mental institution. No, not as patients, but as staff, although I do feel there are times when we belonged there. We didn't start dating right away, but when we did, we dove right in. We broke up a couple of times during our 2 1/2 year dating period because we weren't what each other expected. He didn't expect me to always be right and I just plain thought he was always wrong. When we got to the point where we thought we were ready to be married, I thought that this was the best life had to offer and all would be right with our relationship-wrong! That first year, or three, were tough. I do remember a particular argument in which he provoked me while I was pregnant. I believe a Hoover vacuum came out of nowhere and went flying at my husband, but to this day, I am unsure who threw it (sorry honey). We questioned our feelings for each other and basically wanted to throw in the towel more than once. It's funny how TIME brings about change.

Here we are 10 years later and I am glad we stuck it out. He wears on me like a perfect-fitting soft cotton tee and jeans with just a little stretch. Sure there's some fading and wear, but they fit better than anything else in my closet and are what I always go back to when I want to be my most comfortable. Nothing but time could do that. If you are really making an effort, you grow to understand your partner. You learn when to push and when to lay off. You find yourself never really experiencing anything great unless you have shared it with your spouse. I often wish that people weren't so quick today. We talk, move, and live at the fastest pace possible, always thinking that there will be time for rest and enjoyment later. All the while, racing by what is truly important. I still think my husband is wrong most of the time, but I have just learned how to work around it and let him think he is right. My marriage has become the pivotal point in which all of my life circles around. Life is good.