Children and Sports

I love watching my young boys play sports. That is not to say that I love ALL sports, but that I do enjoy sitting in the stands and cheering them on while they move their little bodies around the field, court, or mat. I have figured out why these events can be so enjoyable and wanted to share my epiphanies with you. Those of you who enjoy these events will probably agree with the findings.

First, there is nothing like watching a group of young ones attempt to hit a ball with a bat, or catch a ball with a large, wide, stiff leather extension on their hand. Why do we wonder why some children prefer to wear the glove on their heads? Frankly, it just feels better up there, fits better up there, and allows their hands to better grab at the bugs in the grass, pick their noses, or itch parts of their bodies that can remain nameless. Second, the child up to bat always wants to smack the ball out of the park, so for them, that means they keep their eye somewhere in the far vicinity of the park, and not on the ball ("Visualize WHERE you want the ball to go, not where it actually IS"). By the 10th attempt at young persons slow pitch, the tee is dragged from the sideline and placed in front of the humiliated child only to be swung at another few times before a connection is made. Lastly, I enjoy watching the flying ball as it either rolls between 3 players' legs before being stopped, or is hit and drops between the 3 players that are standing in a huddle attempting to catch it.

In basketball, I am currently watching my 4th grade son and his team improve and win a few tournament games. One of my favorite plays is the one where the child attempts to shoot the ball into the basket from one side of the basket only to have it totally go in an arc over to a player way on the other corner of the basket. We parents in the stands refer to this play as a "good pass." I also love watching them try to dribble the ball and walk/run, all the while maneuvering the next play and talking to their teammates. Talk about multitasking! How come this doesn't seem to work at home? There seem to be games where I find that my son is mostly on the floor sliding around, then actually running from one end of the court to the other. Maybe his feet are growing.

Lastly, there's football. The tough skills to be mastered in this game fseem to be throwing the ball, catching the ball, and the always elusive good kick. Is there much else to this sport? My kids swear that the umpires must grease and shine those balls prior to every game. It's always great fun watching them run after the ball as it bounces and rolls across the ground, first one way, then the next. Funny how they all move as a group. Because my boys are in flag football, I also like it when one child has the ball, is running, and kids are diving left and right attempting to grab at the flags. They fall like flies at the feet of the child with the ball until the child triumphantly runs into the end zone and performs a touchdown dance while all his teammates gather around. Ah, the reward for a perfectly executed play.

These are the good times. GOOD TIMES! As they get older and better, it will no longer be as humorous, just exciting or disappointing. For now, it's great entertainment. Play Ball!!!

The Solution to a Good Marriage

I have been married to Stallion for almost 11 years. We have known each other for almost 14 years. In a lifetime, I realize this is just a short amount of time, but in married years, it's an accomplishment. In the U.S., we have a tendency to just throw out those things that have a little wear or tear, are faded, or just plain don't fit us anymore. This seems to apply to people, too. Relationships that don't suit our needs, seem like too much work, or are "old" don't always work in our society. We are the society where new and shiny is better. I watch all the younger couples in school dropping their kids off and marvel at their ability to look good, drive nice vehicles, and seem to have it all together. I could get downright green with envy if I didn't know a special secret: that time is what really makes a life and relationship great.

I laugh when I think about my premarital courtship. We met at a mental institution. No, not as patients, but as staff, although I do feel there are times when we belonged there. We didn't start dating right away, but when we did, we dove right in. We broke up a couple of times during our 2 1/2 year dating period because we weren't what each other expected. He didn't expect me to always be right and I just plain thought he was always wrong. When we got to the point where we thought we were ready to be married, I thought that this was the best life had to offer and all would be right with our relationship-wrong! That first year, or three, were tough. I do remember a particular argument in which he provoked me while I was pregnant. I believe a Hoover vacuum came out of nowhere and went flying at my husband, but to this day, I am unsure who threw it (sorry honey). We questioned our feelings for each other and basically wanted to throw in the towel more than once. It's funny how TIME brings about change.

Here we are 10 years later and I am glad we stuck it out. He wears on me like a perfect-fitting soft cotton tee and jeans with just a little stretch. Sure there's some fading and wear, but they fit better than anything else in my closet and are what I always go back to when I want to be my most comfortable. Nothing but time could do that. If you are really making an effort, you grow to understand your partner. You learn when to push and when to lay off. You find yourself never really experiencing anything great unless you have shared it with your spouse. I often wish that people weren't so quick today. We talk, move, and live at the fastest pace possible, always thinking that there will be time for rest and enjoyment later. All the while, racing by what is truly important. I still think my husband is wrong most of the time, but I have just learned how to work around it and let him think he is right. My marriage has become the pivotal point in which all of my life circles around. Life is good.

Do Our Children Rule Our Lives?

It was presented to us this Sunday that people in our society idolize children. Back in the day (I figure this to be before 1960), children were meant to be seen and not heard. My father has reminded us that on a number of occasions. He has talked about how adults got together and children were then expected to find something to do on their own-quietly. They sat at a different table to eat. Parents were not expected to listen or entertain them. There were unspoken rules on behavior and you just "did" without having to be told-or else. I am not saying that this should be the way it is today, but I cannot help but wonder if we have not indeed swung in the complete opposite direction.

Let's take a case in point. My husband, Stallion. When not working the night shift, he is either 1. sleeping or 2. interacting with our children. He is a wonderful dad, but I almost see him as my children's playmate and entertainer. I will even go so far as to say that my boys' friends have asked if my husband can "come out to play." When my boys have friends sleepover, my husband is frequently asked to entertain them. He will chase them around the yard, throw the ball (whatever sport ball is in season), take them somewhere, or play video games with them. I am never asked. Perhaps it is because I am a girl, or more likely, because they know I won't. I am the one they come to for drinks, snacks, meals, and treats. If they have an injury, it's me. My husband is invited into the elite children's circle. a place I don't belong.

This has, at times, caused some issues in our relationship. I am, how shall I say it, high maintenance. I enjoy nice clothes, good food, good company, and adult time. As much as I love my children and care for their needs, I do not feel my whole being revolves around how I can provide nurturing stimulation for them. Maybe it is because of this detachment, I have noticed that today's youth (including my own) lack the boundaries that children once had. They refer to adults by their first names (Hey Jenny!) or they have no qualms about interrupting us while we are on the phone or even talking to another adult in person (hey mom?, excuse me, excuse me, mom?, mom?). They don't open doors for others, they burp at the table, or fart. They don't address others when they are spoken to, they don't know how to write a thank you note on paper, and basically, lack the social etiquette necessary to be considered appropriate. I often ponder how to allow my children to have fun, be boys, and at the same time, raise them so they become productive members of society capable of providing another human being with a fulfilling relationship. I am raising future men, after all. They will be someones boyfriend, husband, father, co-worker and I want them to experience joy in their lives.

That leads me to a possible solution. We need to introduce beginning socialization classes, or etiquette classes, into our children's lives. Not just telling them what to do, like in the past, but explaining to them WHY we do those things. Respect shown for others around us is respect shown for ourselves. Part of that is teaching them how to behave on their own, entertain themselves, and not rely on others to constantly provide for their nonessential needs. As I write this, Stallion is packing up all the supplies necessary for my boys to attend a weekend of basketball, hotel reverie, and skiing. Whoopee! I actually am looking very forward to this weekend, but I can hear my boys now if they read this- "Aw mom, you're no fun."

Starting Over

This year, I will turn 40. It doesn't happen till November 29, so it gives me plenty of time to prepare. I want you to know that this continuing of the clock to turn and get me that much closer to this age does not bother me, but instead, gives me time to think about how I want to change and what I want the beginning of life at 40 to look like. Instead of making New Year's resolutions this year, I set into my head a mantra of "Fit by 40." I keep saying it to myself to remind myself of what I want to accomplish. I will now layout for you what this means to me, and up until November 29, will let you know of my progress or digressions as the clock ticks closer.

One of my first goals, was to increase my physical activity in order to be physically fit by 40. I did not set a weight loss goal because I felt that I would feel instant failure when not getting immediate gratification, and would sink into a Culver's Concrete with cookie dough faster than my husband could turn his head so as to pretend not to see me. Let's face it, I have never been the smallest of girls. I like to refer to my body build as "athletic" and I know most of my close friends have heard me use that term. I am not sure who I am kidding with this phrase as I don't think I have been "athletic" since high school. Maybe I am referring to my strong and muscular thighs that could lift a heavy weight, or my plump bottom and large Popeye-like calves (just kidding about that last one). I certainly am not "defined," cannot run fast or for long distances, or think anyone else would consider me athletic. Well, I do have plenty of workout clothing, so there- I am athletic.

Second, I set the personal goal to read the Bible in one year. I reached this goal a couple of years back, but the life lessons in the Bible never go out of style and I find that I am better able to go about my day and my life with even just a little bit of God in my mind. A good friend provided me with a Bible meant for this exact goal, so it keeps me on track. So far, so good.

Last, I wanted to change the way I treated myself. Being a stay-at-home mom can mean many days go by of wearing your stretchy clothing with no makeup and settling for your hair up in a pony tail. I need to feel better and take more pride in my appearance, plus, I need to get rid of some small wrinkles and discoloration that has shown up as a result of aging hormones and apparently smiling too much. It would be cheaper for me to just quit smiling and laughing, but I opted for buying new products for my face and hair. Arbonne, to be exact. I wanted natural, but proven to work, so I admired some of my friends complexions, then asked them what they used. Well, Arbonne is it. Since I don't do anything half-a**, I decided to buy everything I needed to do my face first. The lesson which was conducted at my good friend E's house was informative and humbling. Who knew I was doing it all wrong? No wonder I was a mess. She will fix everything for me and I will look fab by 40 for sure. I think she thinks it's all up to me, but I will blame her anyway if I fail to follow through and don't see results that appear to be similar to those of cosmetic surgery. (just kidding E!)

I figure if I can work on all these 3 areas and get them down by 40, all life's problems will disappear and utopia will be the result. Wait, what to do with my family?

Sorry It's Been A While

Shoes ,made well, are truly an art form

Oh my! How I have neglected my writing and anyone who enjoys reading about my trials and challenges in life. Yes, a lot has happened in the last almost 2 months, and at the same time, it doesn't seem much has changed.

First, I promised to reveal what my husband got me for Christmas. Let's just say he didn't disappoint and I still think he could lead a gift-giving seminar. I will start with some pictures of the shoes and boots he gave me. First you must know that I am an absolute, hands-down, bona fide shoe LOVER! I believe that shoes are art for a ladies feet, or at least they can be. There is nothing quite like nice, painted toenails and soft feet tucked into a beautiful pair of stylish heels. That being said, I have the ugliest feet ever to have been created for women by the good Lord. I have a chubby large toe, then 3 stubby AND chubby middle toes, only to be followed lastly by a short, fat, and almost toenail-less pinky. I would say that I have the ugliest feet on the face of the planet, but my husband won that title the first time I saw his feet. If you haven't seen the blast from the past movie Waterworld with Kevin Costner, get it to just look at his feet. That is what my husbands look like (only slightly exaggerated). Wide and flat. Well, back to me. Not only can shoes be art, but also camouflage, barriers for viewing from the outside world, masks... you get the point.

A couple of times a year, I like to go through my closet and get rid of the shoes I don't feel the love for anymore. If you are a size 9 or 9 1/2 you could be the lucky recipient. Some have rarely been worn. I can choose between about 9 pairs of dressy boots, 3 pairs of casual boots, and 20 pairs of shoes in winter. Summer shoes are another blog. If anyone reading this blog is unfamiliar with Waupaca, WI let me fill you in. It is cold, slushy, snowy, and probably unfit for heels that are higher than 1 inch and made of rubber. As for me, I enjoy height. Scratch that- I NEED height. There aren't many people who go out around town with high heels on here. A friend from the South once shared that she couldn't believe the amount of cotton that was worn in the form of sweats with tennis shoes.

You might wonder where I wear these artful shoes. I have a secret. In my leisure time, I will try them on and just look at them in the mirror, admiring their color, form, or the way they turn my foot and leg into something different. They are my friends. I keep asking my husband to take me somewhere I can wear these great shoes/boots, but I guess there is only so much time and so many places one can go when you have a family the size of ours, so if you see a crazy woman wearing 4 inch heels in Walmart in the dead of winter during a snow storm, you'll know it's me and I just couldn't wait any longer. Enjoy the pictures.